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Monday Intentions Thirty One | Surrendered Confidence

October 23, 2017

Happy Monday and Scorpio Season! My last week was beautiful. I am in a state of contentment, realizing that my base feeling, my underlying and neutral feeling is happiness, and I feel so glad to truly be confident in saying that. There was apart of me that wasn't allowing myself to have that because "it isn't all about being in the light," and I know its not, I realize this. I do go into the darkness, I go into the shadow, deeply, but it doesn't mean that I can't BE happy, it doesn't mean I can't be IN love, in gratitude for life, and what life has given me. I am really feeling enough these days. Trusting my unfoldment, but honouring where I am. Knowing it's okay. Giving myself credit for the work I do, and the work I have done. Seeing the work I have yet to do, and knowing that our growth is a spiral, the deeper we go, the more we come back to lessons we have learned in the past, ready to peel back another layer of that exact lesson. It never stops. Our growth is a life long journey. Being present, in gratiude, in honour of where we are , surrendered to where we are is such an important form of honour to spirit, a way of saying thank you. Our growth is a gift, our presence in our growth is our thank you. With that, here are my intentions for the week:

 

Surrendered Confidence: True, real confidence is radical acceptance, and deep, deep surrender to what and who we are. Being enough, and loving what we ARE. When we know we are coming from the heart, we can trust that whatever is showing up and coming through us is real, and authentic, and that it need not be doubted. This is something I am working on this week, and the next while, until I ground it into my consciousness. Realizing that confidence is just radical acceptance. When we surrender to our truth, to our real self, to our heart, what is there to be  insecure about? This is the most we can do. Be our realest self. When we stop looking outwards, and turn our awareness inside there is only truth, and when we can honour our truth by surrendering to it, there is nothing to doubt. It just IS, and since this is the biggest gift (ourself) all we can do is honour, by BEing and LOVEing what we are. Surrendered Confidence. We are so enough. There is nothing and no one to compare to. Looking outwards will get us no where. Our expression can only be found inside, the people we are inspired by are only embodying a tiny fraction that may be close to our expression, but the people we are inspired by will never inspire us to our deepest fulfillment, only surrendering to our deepest self, and deepest expression will give us that fulfillment. This is my practice, letting go, letting go, letting go. Surrendering to myself, to my truth, radically accepting me, and allowing what IS to BE. 

 

Not Defining Myself as My Fear: This was a big realization this morning. I saw how often I would define myself as my fear. I would question my beauty, my gifts, my worth all because I would get sucked into my fear of sharing those things. Defining myself as that very fear. And when I would define myself as that fear, the beauty would be so hard to see because I truly believed my fear. Sometimes I try to imagine fear as an actual being, something that wants me to stay small. When I imagine it in this way, I find it easier to say no, and so much easier to see how false it is. Our fears are kind of like these small entities that think they are trying to keep us safe, trying to save us, when in reality they are doing the opposite. The work is to feel safer and safer in our vulnerability, in our truth, in our heart. There really is nothing to fear, because when we step out of fear, into our beauty, it is the most fulfilling experience there is. 

 

Relationship: Everything is relationship. Our relationship with ourself, to a plant, to the world, to our job, to our family, to our friends, to food, ect. EVERYTHING is relation. I am seriously feeling the truth of this lately. Everything is also a reflection of the relationship we have with ourself. I am working on relationships in all aspects lately. An intimacy with life, with myself, with the land is what I am intending to cultivate and nourish. A relationship rooted in reciprocity, in sharing, in connection, in presence, and slowness. This is how I intend to move forward with ALL of my relations. I find the Earth such a beautiful way to see into how I treat relationships. If I can be in sacred relation with plants, and earth, then I can do that with people too. If I neglect plants, neglect slowing down to listen to plants, to be with them, then I am most likely doing that with people too. I intend to be as present as possible with people, plants, and all the relations in my life. 

 

Practice/Meditation: I just want to write a little bit about how much my practice is serving me. I feel so strong, so rooted, and grounded into my practice. In a way I never have. I feel as if if I didn't have my practice these days I would be gonezo. Everyday I am reminded of my truth, of the truth, of beauty, of the sacredness. I feel that we can forget so easily, especially with the state of our world. Our world is made for us to forget, made for us to get sucked into the darkness, into the meanness of the world. But honestly, it's our job to remember, to know the truth, to be the light, to show others the light in a dark world. I give so much credit to my practice for this. I commit and vow to continue to show up, in prayer, in mediation, in taking care of this body, in all the ways my heart wants me to show up. I feel it's my duty to remember, and my duty to help remind. 

 

Harp: I rented a harp last week, as some of you may have seen in my instagram stories. I am so in love and I play it everyday. I intend to learn more and more each week. It has been opening up  my heart so wide. I feel like it's in instrument close to my soul. 

 

Focus/Grounded/Simple/Here: I feel the best lately in the simplicity. In the moment, in nature, in this. I can't really ask for anything else. I feel so enough, and am just grateful in the simple moment. I feel that being here on Earth, roots deep into the core of the Earth is where I need to be. Although I always feel deeply connected to something much bigger, I find I don't need to "go there" to Be there. I can BE there, while BEing here on Earth, and for that, I am so grateful.

 

Heartspace/REAL: As Always, BEing from my heart. I realize more and more that the truth of ourself comes from the heart. That the deeper we BE from our heart, the realer we are. The more we surrender to our heart, the more authentic our expression is. When we let go of who we think we should we, we make space for our heart to open us up to who we are. I love you all. XO

 

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS?

Comment below!

Love this song and video. Can only imagine how inspired

these guys must be playing in such a stunning and wild place. 

In PUALANI Intentions Tags Surrender, Confidence, Real, Relationship, Fear, Beauty
← Gratitude + Sinking into Happiness and Fulfillment Within Letting Go of Resistance to Our Real Self and of Trying to Be Anything We Aren't As One of The Biggest Forms of Honour to Spirit →

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Do you really mean it? / Showing up energetically and not just physically . . The deeper I go into my own personal unfolding and reflect on the past, and especially reflect on past selves I see a pattern where I was only doing things because I thought they were the thing to do, or because it was the only way, or that I ought to do to be a good person or be validated. Now, when I look back and tap into the energy of that, I see that I wasn’t fully in it, it wasn’t heart based, it had to be forced more often than not. And though I thought I was doing the right thing, the energy behind it was communicating something totally different to the universe. . Now, it matters more than anything for me to match my energetic actions and physical actions up. Really MEANING what I am doing. Like when I show up at my altar every morning.. its not because I feel like I should, but its because its a REAL connection I have at my altar. It has depth, meaning, purpose in my practice. Or when I show up for my kundalini practice.. I don’t half ass it.. I want it, and I want it bad. I mean it, through every ounce of the ‘torture.’ . . Truly, we can never really fool ourself, we can try, but, why do you want to lie.. to yourself? Thats the hard reality of it, we are only ever cheating ourself. When we show up and half ass it, we are half assing ourself. Believe me, I half assed myself for so long. And maybe its because I wasn’t ready to dive in in the way I am now. Because it IS work. Its not easy. And I still half ass myself. But when I started realizing that when we half ass it we are communicating that to the Universe.. saying we only HALF want it, I threw that energy out the window. Im in, or I’m not. I mean it from my heart and soul.. or I just simply dont. It is that simple. . . This is me on my healing journey right now. Showing up in the most potent way I can. And meaning every second. I want it. I need it. And thats when shit changes. Thats when we get the hard work done. We stop skimming the surface when we dive in deep. Its a form of self respect. Its integrity to your soul. Its something I am working on everyday. Because I never understood it on this kind of level.
“Unlike beauty, glamour is seen but not felt. Poet John O’Donohue points out, “it has become the habit of our times to mistake glamour for beauty.” The great tragedy of this reality is that glamour inevitably comes at the expense of beauty. Glamour is like a fake flower. It looks vibrant from far away, but when you come closer, you see that its color is all wrong, and that it conveys none of the magnificent essence of that which it was made to imitate. Beauty, on the other hand, is a thing of great substance with soil clinging to its roots. It smells like the wet and fertile Earth from which it came and its petals, however imperfect, are imbued with a kind of radiance which arises from somewhere else entirely // somewhere unseen.” —Tonights insanely inspiring words by @laabejaherbs in her latest April edition of @garden.party.love 🙏🏼🕊🙌🏼🏹🌿 . . Ps guys.. im sharing more in my stories these days.. basically cause lately im too lazy to type all the awesomeness im thinking/reading/feeling/listening to. There is so much happening all at once for me.. so catch some of it in my stories 👀
we project our values . This topic has been on my mind for a while now; the idea that we project onto others what we value, or don't value. This whole concept honestly arose from having different disagreements with people. Not arguing, just honest disagreements. Through sitting with and dissecting the disagreements I came to the realization that we all have different ways of being, thoughts, beliefs, and acting that we value. We project those values outwardly. We usually respect the people who embody the traits that we value. But the fact that we all have different values means we are all going to look at people differently. And this extremely alters the common archetype of "good" and "bad" people. . . What I value and respect in a person is going to differ from what you value and respect in people. You might value someone who is able to make a ton of money, who is able to buy the material items that are top of the line and in style but might not care for feelings that much. Where as I might value someone who is committed to their heart, willing to look deeply at themselves and take responsibility for their actions; i’m not saying they don't make a lot of money, but it isn't the money about them that I value. You might value someone who can allow themselves to flow through the day without any structure, where as I might value someone who embodies a structure to their day. Some people might value consistency, some might value discipline, others might value working 60 hour weeks, etc, ect. . . What do you value? Do you feel your values are THE truth? How would you feel if someone challenged your values? I feel it's super important to address the traits that we feel are important to us, but to also note that everyone has a different set of traits that they value. We must stay open minded, and trust that maybe when someone isn't "seeing" a certain trait we have, that it might not be a trait that is in their set of values. Our work then, is to not judge them and/or project a "you should have that value" energy, but instead respect or at least be compassionate towards them for the values they do, even if we disagree. . . Read more on this, link in bio🏹
showing up for our Mama . You know, I don't show up and do the work on myself everyday merely because I want to be happier, or to achieve more success, although those are pretty much guaranteed side effects. I show up everyday because I'm utterly in love with the world. I show up because I feel its my duty, and one of the most impactful ways I can contribute back to this planet that has given me my whole life. I show up for myself, for the world.. in hopes, and with intention that I become the best possible version of myself, in service to our true Mother, in the ways that my whole being was made to be in service for. . . Deeply looking at myself is my Duty and contribution. Purifying my intentions more and more everyday. Remembering that the way we treat our Mother is in direct relation to how we treat ourselves, and vice versa. Why? Why? Why? Why? And Why? Getting to the deeper root of why we do what we do is vital in the times we are in. And when we think we get to an answer, question that too. We need to keep ourselves in check, and hopefully we have beautiful people around us to also keep us in check. We cant fuck around anymore. What are you doing TODAY that helps us move forward? . . One of the ways @katlinanndoyle and I are showing up for our Mother is offering an immersion where we gather together and get to know our Mother. We get to know her cycles, her seasons, the sacred plant art that she births at different times of the year. We get to experience our direct relationship to her and see that we are OF her. No separation. We call this Sisters and Cycles of Beauty, and tonight is the last night to register. Dm for more info, or click link in bio. If your HEART is deeply feeling the call, but finances are an issue, message on of us, and lets chat. XOXO much love.🕊🌎🏹 . #sistersandcyclesofbeauty
in the freeing, in the feeling
no words . this has to be one of the most transformative times of my life. Im sure many of you can relate. It seems to me that so many of us are breaking through some of the biggest blocks in our life yet, and seeing a way of being, previously not known possible, thats within arms reach. Maybe even presently here. . . Ive noticed I haven’t been sharing my journey as much as I normally do. And thats because it hasn’t been translating into words as it normally does. What I’ve been going through has been VERY energetic. I understand whats happening, as I’ve somehow figured out how to read the energetic current of my life at the moment but its not something I can put into word yet... and it might not ever need words. All I know is that I need to be ever so present with myself, and with life. I know that whats happening to me has never happened to this degree, and maybe even never at all. I realize it this might all be vague, and its because I’m trying to put words to something that doesn’t have an english translation yet. . . Its important for me to share where I am at. I love being able for us to support each other. Its important for me to share as authentically as I can and to not pretend that life isnt LIFE, with ups and downs, confusion and clarity, light and darkness and ALL of the inbetweens. . . I sit here, with myself, in this body, in this moment, blood running through my veins, and sun shining on my face. Hope in my heart, love in my soul, gratitude for the reflections life offers me in every way, and remembering to just take it step by step. Xoxoxoxo

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