• From The Heart
  • Home
  • Journal
  • Subscribe
    • Emily Doyle
    • Pualani
    • Sisters & Cycles of Beauty Immersion
    • Sessions
  • Archives
  • Resources
Menu

PUALANI

Medicine of the Heart and Spirit
  • From The Heart
  • Home
  • Journal
  • Subscribe
  • About
    • Emily Doyle
    • Pualani
  • Offerings
    • Sisters & Cycles of Beauty Immersion
    • Sessions
  • Archives
  • Resources
28584273_10155353632170308_86771360_o.jpg

It's Not About Being Perfect, It's About Not Being Perfect

February 27, 2018

As I prepare to launch  From The Heart I am witnessing feelings of doubt, insecurity, not-enoughness and worry arising. There are what if's coming up that want to keep me held back from putting my vulnerable self out into the world. My "loyal soldier* (sub personality)" as Bill Plotkin calls it is trying to keep me safe so I don't traumatize my vulnerable, most authentic self in ways I did when I was an innocent, and extremely sensitive child. The more I tap into these feelings the more I realize that I MUST move forward, I must breakthrough, that these feelings no longer are going to have me by the ball and chain.

The time is now for us to put our gifts out into the world. The time is now for us to listen to our hearts, to slow down enough and let go of who we think we should be in order to BE who we are. It is time to realize that there is no such thing as perfection, and the idea of perfection is only another mechanism of our Loyal Soldier* to keep us hidden, and never feeling enough. It's time to take action now in the direction of our dreams, and the life we envision ourselves living. After being in China I said enough is enough. No more hiding. No more dimming my light. We are living in a new paradigm now. We are living in world that is aching for my medicine, and yours too. 

I feel that it's time to take charge. To let the old ingrained stories go. It's time for our medicine to shine. And no, it won't be perfect. And yes, you will make mistakes. But we are all here for each other. We are a community. When we let our own ideas of perfectionism go, we can see others as the HUMANS they are too. We expect less perfection from others when we release perfectionism within ourselves. How FREEing does that sound like? Imagine a world where we can just show up as we are, and be enough. No hiding, no trying prove anything, just our authentic, raw, real, sacred selves. And you are sacred no matter what, let me assure you that!

 

It's scary that's for sure, but listen to Georgia O'keefe:

"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do."

 

and to Anais Nin:

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”

 

and to Nelson Mandela:

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

 

You see what I mean. Fear will always be present. But when will stop letting us control us? When will the courage be bigger, our message stronger than the fear? 

 

Join me in my upcoming online Workshop From The Heart to dive deeper into yourself, into your fears, and your gifts. I say join me because I will be doing the exact same digging. Registration opens March 1st.

 

* "The Loyal Soldier — a courageous, wise, and stubborn sub-personality that formed during our childhood and created a variety of strategies to help us survive the realities (often dysfunctional) of our families and culture. It keeps us “safe” by making us small or limited, or by further traumatizing us. It is the intrapsychic element that shovels chunks of our wholeness into our Shadow so that we will appear acceptable or invisible to the powers that be. 
Anytime you hear an inner voice judging you as too uppity, too this, too that, not enough this, not enough that, it is the LS speaking! To work with this dynamic in ourselves, we need to recognize that the LS literally saved our lives when we were growing up. The people capable of nurturing us or abandoning us had all the power over us and our LS was our ally in the war of infant, childhood, and adolescent survival.

The problem is – we grow up – and the LS remains a part of our psyche – keeping us safe and small and doing his best to keep us from being hurt – but often this just hampers our efforts at individuation and shoves more of our radiant selves into the shadow!" - Read More

In PUALANI Heart Healing, From The Heart Tags Perfectionism, Enough, Gifts, Medicine
← Monday Intentions Forty Five | LeapingMonday Intentions Forty Four | Nurture, Nourish, Accept, Act →

gallery

Do you really mean it? / Showing up energetically and not just physically .
.
The deeper I go into my own personal unfolding and reflect on the past, and especially reflect on past selves I see a pattern where I was only doing things because I thought they were the thing to do, or because it was the only way, or that I ought to do to be a good person or be validated. Now, when I look back and tap into the energy of that, I see that I wasn’t fully in it, it wasn’t heart based, it had to be forced more often than not. And though I thought I was doing the right thing, the energy behind it was communicating something totally different to the universe.
.

Now, it matters more than anything for me to match my energetic actions and physical actions up. Really MEANING what I am doing. Like when I show up at my altar every morning.. its not because I feel like I should, but its because its a REAL connection I have at my altar. It has depth, meaning, purpose in my practice. Or when I show up for my kundalini practice.. I don’t half ass it.. I want it, and I want it bad. I mean it, through every ounce of the ‘torture.’ .
.
Truly, we can never really fool ourself, we can try, but, why do you want to lie.. to yourself? Thats the hard reality of it, we are only ever cheating ourself. When we show up and half ass it, we are half assing ourself. Believe me, I half assed myself for so long. And maybe its because I wasn’t ready to dive in in the way I am now. Because it IS work. Its not easy. And I still half ass myself. But when I started realizing that when we half ass it we are communicating that to the Universe.. saying we only HALF want it, I threw that energy out the window. Im in, or I’m not. I mean it from my heart and soul.. or I just simply dont. It is that simple. .
.
This is me on my healing journey right now. Showing up in the most potent way I can. And meaning every second. I want it. I need it. And thats when shit changes. Thats when we get the hard work done. We stop skimming the surface when we dive in deep. Its a form of self respect. Its integrity to your soul. Its something I am working on everyday. Because I never understood it on this kind of level.
“Unlike beauty, glamour is seen but not felt.  Poet John O’Donohue points out, “it has become the habit of our times to mistake glamour for beauty.” The great tragedy of this reality is that glamour inevitably comes at the expense of beauty.  Glamour is like a fake flower.  It looks vibrant from far away, but when you come closer, you see that its color is all wrong, and that it conveys none of the magnificent essence of that which it was made to imitate.  Beauty, on the other hand, is a thing of great substance with soil clinging to its roots.  It smells like the wet and fertile Earth from which it came and its petals, however imperfect, are imbued with a kind of radiance which arises from somewhere else entirely // somewhere unseen.” —Tonights insanely inspiring words by @laabejaherbs in her latest April edition of @garden.party.love 🙏🏼🕊🙌🏼🏹🌿
.
.
Ps guys.. im sharing more in my stories these days.. basically cause lately im too lazy to type all the awesomeness im thinking/reading/feeling/listening to. There is so much happening all at once for me.. so catch some of it in my stories 👀
we project our values
.

This topic has been on my mind for a while now; the idea that we project onto others what we value, or don't value. This whole concept honestly arose from having different disagreements with people. Not arguing, just honest disagreements. Through sitting with and dissecting the disagreements I came to the realization that we all have different ways of being, thoughts, beliefs, and acting that we value. We project those values outwardly. We usually respect the people who embody the traits that we value. But the fact that we all have different values means we are all going to look at people differently. And this extremely alters the common archetype of "good" and "bad" people. .
.
What I value and respect in a person is going to differ from what you value and respect in people. You might value someone who is able to make a ton of money, who is able to buy the material items that are top of the line and in style but might not care for feelings that much. Where as I might value someone who is committed to their heart, willing to look deeply at themselves and take responsibility for their actions; i’m not saying they don't make a lot of money, but it isn't the money about them that I value. You might value someone who can allow themselves to flow through the day without any structure, where as I might value someone who embodies a structure to their day. Some people might value consistency, some might value discipline, others might value working 60 hour weeks, etc, ect. .
.
What do you value? Do you feel your values are THE truth? How would you feel if someone challenged your values? I feel it's super important to address the traits that we feel are important to us, but to also note that everyone has a different set of traits that they value. We must stay open minded, and trust that maybe when someone isn't "seeing" a certain trait we have, that it might not be a trait that is in their set of values. Our work then, is to not judge them and/or project a "you should have that value" energy, but instead respect or at least be compassionate towards them for the values they do, even if we disagree. .
.
Read more on this, link in bio🏹
showing up for our Mama
.

You know, I don't show up and do the work on myself everyday merely because I want to be happier, or to achieve more success, although those are pretty much guaranteed side effects. I show up everyday because I'm utterly in love with the world. I show up because I feel its my duty, and one of the most impactful ways I can contribute back to this planet that has given me my whole life. I show up for myself, for the world.. in hopes, and with intention that I become the best possible version of myself, in service to our true Mother, in the ways that my whole being was made to be in service for. .
.
Deeply looking at myself is my Duty and contribution. Purifying my intentions more and more everyday. Remembering that the way we treat our Mother is in direct relation to how we treat ourselves, and vice versa. Why? Why? Why? Why? And Why? Getting to the deeper root of why we do what we do is vital in the times we are in. And when we think we get to an answer, question that too. We need to keep ourselves in check, and hopefully we have beautiful people around us to also keep us in check. We cant fuck around anymore. What are you doing TODAY that helps us move forward? .
.
One of the ways @katlinanndoyle and I are showing up for our Mother is offering an immersion where we gather together and get to know our Mother. We get to know her cycles, her seasons, the sacred plant art that she births at different times of the year. We get to experience our direct relationship to her and see that we are OF her. No separation. We call this Sisters and Cycles of Beauty, and tonight is the last night to register. Dm for more info, or click link in bio. If your HEART is deeply feeling the call, but finances are an issue, message on of us, and lets chat. XOXO much love.🕊🌎🏹
.
#sistersandcyclesofbeauty
in the freeing, in the feeling
no words
.

this has to be one of the most transformative times of my life. Im sure many of you can relate. It seems to me that so many of us are breaking through some of the biggest blocks in our life yet, and seeing a way of being, previously not known possible, thats within arms reach. Maybe even presently here. .
.
Ive noticed I haven’t been sharing my journey as much as I normally do. And thats because it hasn’t been translating into words as it normally does. What I’ve been going through has been VERY energetic. I understand whats happening, as I’ve somehow figured out how to read the energetic current of my life at the moment but its not something I can put into word yet... and it might not ever need words. All I know is that I need to be ever so present with myself, and with life. I know that whats happening to me has never happened to this degree, and maybe even never at all. I realize it this might all be vague, and its because I’m trying to put words to something that doesn’t have an english translation yet. .
.
Its important for me to share where I am at. I love being able for us to support each other. Its important for me to share as authentically as I can and to not pretend that life isnt LIFE, with ups and downs, confusion and clarity, light and darkness and ALL of the inbetweens. .
.
I sit here, with myself, in this body, in this moment, blood running through my veins, and sun shining on my face. Hope in my heart, love in my soul, gratitude for the reflections life offers me in every way, and remembering to just take it step by step. Xoxoxoxo

Subscribe To Our Mailing List

I promise to send only heart centred medicine.

We respect your privacy.

Thank you!

 © PUALANI 2018. Disclaimer- All materials provided are for educational purposes only and not a substitute for advice from a healthcare professional. There are no promises or guarantees made. You alone are responsible for your actions and results.